Recently I was reading a post from Rob Sutton about dealing with people w/c gave me a good idea on this post. We, as bloggers are generally nice to people whoever they are and wherever they come from. That’s why we look into each other more as peers rather than competitors. But everything has its own limit and today I am going to discuss to my experience with dealing with different types of people.
Generally when we were just getting started, we were nice as much as we could. I mean, if someone sends us an email on something, we would always respond. If someone comments on our posts, we are nice enough to reply back. That’s how we are.
Fast-forward to the time we became a bit successful and known, we know don’t have time to respond to people all the time, we are not as approachable as we used to before and it seems like we’re not the same kind guy we used to be when we were just starting. Admit it, admit it people.
Cold Hard Fact
Here’s the fact: When a blogger gets more and more popular and established, he/she becomes less nice, less responsive and less approachable. Struggling with keeping your feet off the ground (like before) is ALWAYS a factor. But there are a lot more to consider.
When people become more successful, he/she switches from socializing to more of managing and administrating. Because of the success, the blogger tries to leverage what he has either by starting a new business or by taking the current one on the next level. As a result, the blogger’s interaction with people as friends becomes lesser.
And With Being Nice
Being nice is not really mandatory. I understood this nature and that’s why few bloggers aren’t generally nice to their readers. I am a frequent lurker of WickedFire forum and if you know that forum, you know what I’m talking about.
Some people on the other hand, seem to morph from a nice person to a complete asshole. Either because of the success that he/she tasted or whatever. Do take note that is normal in today’s world. Success comes with responsibility and as we become more successful (or just by making progress) we also change.
To be fair and have a more balanced outlook in this post, it’s really hard to be nice all the time. Of course when we are just getting started, we are into this mentality of being nice or else not get noticed thing. We try to be nice to rude people. But as I’ve said it’s impossible to be, all the time.
As we get more and more positive mentions online, we also tend to get a lot of negative criticisms from some unknown people. And oftentimes we engage ourselves in bad-mouthing against them. Some even use their blog to bash those people.
I don’t know. I am nice to people, all people who have contacted me using my contact form were replied (even those annoying ones), I try to be as accommodating as possible here in this blog and that’s because I am intrinsically that way. But at some point I wonder and ask myself, how long can I stay nice to people?
I think that while you don’t have to necessarily be ‘nice’ to everyone, you have to be courteous and apply basic communication skills.
I don’t care how big a blogger you become, if you cannot atleast send a one sentence reply to people who have sent you an email maybe it is time to hire a PA – because if you are to busy for your readers obviously you are making enough money to hire one.
.-= Tom | Build That List´s last blog ..The 4 Reasons People Unsubscribe Mailing Lists =-.
Sometimes, nice to every peoples can exhausted. So the best way i think is honest — if it is not a time to nice do not pretend be nice.
.-= Dana @ Blogging Update´s last blog ..How To Uninstall WordPress Blog Manually =-.
well you are right that it is difficult to be nice yo people when you become successful, you get 100 comments to moderate everyday and mailbox full of queries that are considered to be basics…but a line would do good here
NEVER FORGET THE PEOPLE YOU MET WHEN YOU REACH UP BECAUSE YOU WILL MEET THEM WHEN YOU COME DOWN
.-= IndianCashMaker´s last blog ..The Quality of Your Content is Decreasing, Dude!! =-.
Its really difficult to be Nice all the time. I try m best to be nice but sometime you need to be a little colder too. Otherwise people do not ygive a damn about you.
.-= Agent Deepak´s last blog ..Interview with James Richmond – The InfoPreneur =-.
Usually those who just start blogging are nice people, where else those 90% who are extremely pro are people that is less nice to other people.
They talk nicely on their blog post but what’s behind their head we doesn’t know. Let’s just say we people it doesn’t matter who we always had a devil and an angel behind us, is just how we gonna listen to them.
.-= The Bad Blogger´s last blog ..Frank Kern Core Inflence 2 ! =-.
I think there should be a limit on the B.S. you take, but help those who sincerely want to help themselves first.
When I first started internet marketing I took comments and remarks more to heart, but now they don’t affect me. I just still can’t believe there are people out there that actually waste their time spammin, hackin and hatin. They must really need a life…..or somethin.
.-= Mathew Day´s last blog ..11 Ways to Get Unlimited Amount of FREE Traffic =-.
We can’t be nice to everyone…its better to be honest as this works in long run
.-= infopediaonlinehere´s last blog ..Google App Engine technologies, Google App Engine SDK, Google cloud computing google app engine =-.
As long as your emotions permit, you have to stay nice to people. Always remember that a success in life particularly from blogging always comes with great responsibility. Accommodating your audience is one way you can always keep yourself deserve a pat on your back.
.-= Cebu Tech Blogger´s last blog ..Free Video Converter Download from WinXDVD =-.
Great point Tom. Seems like a LOT of big bloggers are just not interested in replying though.
that’s a pretty great quote man. I will remember that. 😀
Another thing may be, when you test the success more and more people want to contact you and you get tons of emails in your inbox and reading each of those may be take an hour or more which is unproductive to me. So, it’s hard to be nice always.
.-= Arafat Hossain Piyada´s last blog ..Gmail now let you fetch POP accounts instantly & easily =-.
It just doesn’t happen online, it happens in real life so there’s really no space in not getting used to it.
Great insight.
I’m pretty difficult and always have been, so anything persnickety shouldn’t be misconstrued as success.
.-= Jessica Gottlieb´s last blog ..The Price of Good Hair =-.
Darren Rowse, Chris Garrett, Chris Brogan, Brian Clark, Sonia Simone, Yaro Starak, Pat Flynn, Daniel Scocco, Joanna Penn, Marko Saric, Leo Babauta, Josh Hanagarne, Gary Vaynerchuk…
Just off the top of my head quickly, all successful bloggers with big audiences and no doubt very busy, and all of them still nice to people.
I can’t really think of any big bloggers I know of that went from being nice to not being nice as they got successful. Who are some of your examples?
.-= Paul Cunningham´s last blog ..Blogger Interview: Henry Ferdiansyah of Time as Wine =-.
I think being nice is something you either are or are not. What happens is, you find out who is actually nice or isn’t when the pressure is on.
Its just like a new romantic relationship. When you first start out everything is wonderful and flowery. After some time goes by and you begin to know each other, when the project or person is no longer new and you begin to see the full spectrum of the person or project, you become more comfortable and become the real you. You have more tolerance for anything when its new.
Negativity and stress can wear anyone down every once in a while. But when someone is genuinely a “nice” person, it usually takes a whole lot of anything to change them into a not so nice person. Now some “nice” people may eventually resort to ignoring negative people and some people might construe being ignored as being mean. However, its not up to you to worry about what people construe as mean as long as you know you’re doing the right thing.
Finally, nobody can be nice all the time. If they are, it probably isn’t real.
.-= Angela Beasley´s last blog ..I Gotta Pee =-.